No Run Newt

I had this really insightful post 90% completed on why Newt Gingrich should not run for President.  Then yesterday Newt inconveniently took my advice before it was even offered rendering the post about as timely as a discussion on the merits of Windows ME.  For what it’s worth, here is the gist of my now-useless argument: Like Jimmy Carter, Newt Gingrich has been much more effective and useful since he left office than he was while in office.  The former speaker has done a great job of reaching across the aisle to get both sides to stop posturing and yelling at each other long enough to think strategically about solutions to our current problems.  It would be a real shame for him to leave that behind to go back to being a partisan political hack.  Plus his negatives are out the wazoo.  Good call, Mr. Speaker.

Millions Flock to Jesus’ Defense… Well, OK, Thousands So Far

The good folks at The Miracle Theatre in Pigeon Forge are just not going to take a bad TV actress dissing Jesus sitting down.  (See Kathy Griffin and Jesus) So they purchased a full page USA Today ad ($90,000) in an effort to get one million Christians to sign their “Enough is Enough, Stand Up for Christ” petition.  So far they have 65,000 of their “One Million Voices for Christ.”  And from their press release they are pretty proud of that.  Someone needs to explain to these Theatre majors that 65,000 is only 6.5% of 1 million.  That’s like expecting 1,000 people for a concert and only 65 show up. 

I find it strange that their petition is not addressed to Kathy Griffin or even “Dear Low Lifes in Hollywood.”  It is addressed to the American people and declares that they should not mock the name of Jesus or slander any of His followers.  If you simply must sign the petition and scream “Enough is Enough” at the “American People” click here.  But please don’t.

Braves Miss Playoffs Again But Season is Saved By Monumental Mets Meltdown

I am sorely disappointed that the Braves season is over again this year in September, not October.  But my heart was strangely warmed by the record-breaking (worst in MLB history!) crash and burn by the team we affectionately refer to as “Those Scum Sucking Mets.”  They were in first place by seven games the second week in September, but they won’t be going to the playoffs.  This is just too sweet for words.

Q: Is it true the Mets are leaving New York and moving to the Phillipines?
A: Yes.
Q: What will they be called there?
A: The Manilla Folders!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I crack me up.

End of An Era

Yesterday was the last Braves game that will be broadcast on TBS.  For the last 30 years, this partnership made the Braves America’s Team and turned a laughable, pathetic excuse for a UHF TV station into the first “Superstation” a broadcasting dynasty that also spawned the first 24 hour news channel.

Yes, the geniuses at Turner Broadcasting have opted to go with such laugh-packed winners as “The Bill Engval Show,” “House of Payne” and “My Guys” and to turn their backs on the programming that got them where they are.  TBS’s motto is “Very Funny” but none of the aforementioned programs are even remotely funny.  Sure, the reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond and Friends are funny, but they have already run through all available episodes several times now.  Skip Caray hit the nail on the head when he commented on TBS not asking him to be a part of the postseason announcing crew. “I’m mad at myself for thinking there was any loyalty left in this business. I should have known better.”

For what it’s worth, I choose to not watch TBS in the future.  No big sacrifice here, their programming reeks.  You guys not only have no loyalty, you have no class.

You should have heeded the words of that great philosopher Jimmy Dean and “danced with the one what brung you.”