“Beautiful and bubbly” Charmaine Dragun seemed to have it all.  She was 29 years old, beautiful, intelligent, talented and popular.  She had a warm, loving relationship with her mom and dad, a fiancee who she had been with since they were both 16, and she was a prime-time news anchor and rising star on Australian television.  In an industry that is known as cut-throat and fiercely competitive, Dragun was, according to colleagues, genuinely loved and admired by her peers.

One week ago today, Charmaine Dragun jumped to her death at “The Gap,” a notorious suicide location in Sydney’s Watson Bay. Concerned passers-by had called for help when they observed a young woman sitting on the cliffs beyond the rails.  When police arrived around 4:00 pm, they found Dragun’s body on the rocks below. She had been scheduled go on the air at 5:00 pm. 

Family members said the outgoing and vivacious news anchor had battled depression for years, a condition that got much worse when her employer, News Ten, moved her from her home in Western Australia to the network headquarters in Sydney. 

Depression, unlike a physical disease, is fairly easy to hide. Looking at her, no one suspected the dark valley she was in. She and Simon, her fiancee, a forensic scientist, were planning to stage a surprise wedding in March the week of their shared 30th birthday.  They talked a lot about starting a family and returning home to Perth, where she was born and raised.  She was making plans for her parents to visit her in Sydney and looked forward to showing them the sights.  The morning she died, she purchased tickets for a Björk concert.

Outwardly, Dragun was the eternal optimist with a vibrant personality, who was planning for the future.  Inside, she was tormented by severe depression, desperate isolation, loneliness, and self-doubt.  For some unknown reason, it all came crashing down on her last Friday. She chose to end her life rather than endure more pain than she thought she could bear. 

Charmaine’s co-workers found the news of her suicide impossible to fathom.  “No one had any idea how sad she must have been,” said a fellow news anchor. “People are now wondering if we should have taken more interest in what was going on in her life.”

It is frightening to think of all of the Charmaine Draguns out there - people we envy because they seem to have it all but who in reality are bereft of the things that really matter.  My friend C.A. Phillips recounted in a recent post a conversation with famed sports psychologist Jack Llewellyn.  When asked what surprised him most about the famous sports stars he worked with, Llewellyn replied, “Most of them are just miserable.”

Remember the words to the classic Nat King Cole song, “Smile”?

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
Thats the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

The lyrics to that song make for a great song hook, but it is bad and perhaps dangerous advice for your life.  The idea of suffering in silence - “hiding every trace of sorrow,” if you will - is largely responsible for the 35,000 people who take their own lives each year in the United States. This year, over 1,100 college students will commit suicide.  I once read that people who die at their own hands are not shaking their fist at God; they are confused, tormented children who look in their own faces and hate what they see.

What I find most disturbing is that we have allowed this “pretend things are fine” mentality to infect the church.  Scripture instructs us to bear one another’s burdens, to confess our faults to each other, and show love, care and compassion to and for each other.  When did church become a place where we all wear a mask and pretend we are perfect? When did it stop being a place to find grace, mercy and love and become a place of phony perfection and plastic piety?

The church without grace and mercy extended to each other becomes just a social club, a place to see and be seen.  With it, it is a place to find unconditional love and forgiveness.

The sad story of beautiful Charmaine Dragun reminds us again of the vital importance of accountability and transparency in the Body of Christ.

Related: The Difference Between Covering and Covering Up